I'm back (in case you hadn't noticed)

[starsandsea]

Everything went fine. The service was very nice, and the vicar? person was nice, and seemed to actually care, so, it was nice to see that. It was upsetting, obviously, but my grandmother is far more at peace now than she would have been living longer, and I've... come to terms with it now, I think.

I'm not sure how good a omen it was that as we were traveling down to the hotel, we passed a accident that must have happened only moments before, with a motorcyclist, and we later found out that he had died. What's worse is that I have a suspicion that I've seen him around the same stretch of motorway on a semi-regular status before, so I'd kinda learned to look out for him, you know? It was upsetting seeing that, and it really shook me up. I'm just really glad that I wasn't driving, and that we didn't see the accident itself.

The most stressful thing was the get together afterwards, and trying to make polite small talk with my uncle, aunt and cousins waiting for the cars to arrive. That was... interesting. And me and my brother may have inadvertently further alienated my mum from her childhood friends. We were the first ones out of the service, and because we had never been to a funeral before, we didn't realize that we were supposed to go around a corner, and stand there, thanking everyone who had come. We just went straight outside, and my mum and dad joined us. So... anyone who wanted to talk to my mum had to come to us. *sighs* But, it can't be helped, and it wasn't my brother's or my fault, since nothing was really explained to us in what we were expected to do.

My uncle was... kinda okay. Being all in charge and stuff, but that's usual, I guess. He hugged me as we left for the first, and most likely last time ever, which was weird, but I guessed he realized that we'd never be see each other again. We were generally ignored by our closest cousins, which was fine by us, and we ignored them too. Our more distant cousins were far nicer, and actually sat down at the table with us to have lunch, and talked to me and brother, even when mum and dad weren't with us. There was a lot of people we didn't know, or we had met when I was about 4 or something like that, so I had no idea who's hand I was shaking until it was explained to me later. But, then, my mum didn't really recognize most people since it had been so long since she had last seen them. Apparently, my hair was a source of conversation, and one of the cousins who sat down with us couldn't resist stroking it, LOL.

So... yeah. It was stressful and tiring and upsetting, but it was nice, and my grandmother is in a much better place now, and we did get to say goodbye and have good last memories. :) Thank you to everyone who's given me hugs and everything. They've all been greatly appreciated.

Comments

[greeneyelove.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry you had to pass that accident. That's horrible.

As for family...they can indeed make life interesting.

[starsandsea.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry you had to pass that accident. That's horrible.

Yeah... it was nasty.

As for family...they can indeed make life interesting.

LOL, yes they can!

[bradygirl_12]

Glad you were able to get through it all, Star! *hugs*

[starsandsea.livejournal.com]

Thank you! *hugs back*

[sasha-anu.livejournal.com]

Sorry that things were so stressful at the funeral.

We were the first ones out of the service, and because we had never been to a funeral before, we didn't realize that we were supposed to go around a corner, and stand there, thanking everyone who had come.

I guess it really just depends on the people because at my uncle's funeral, we all just left to go to a dinner style event after the service.

There was no "wait here and talk to the people" kinda thing at the door. Besides, I would think that would be what the wake and the days leading up to it was for.

Personally, if someone couldn't be bothered to talk to me before the funeral, I don't think that I would want to talk to them after the funeral. That and I'd be too worn out by the end of the funeral to talk to anyone else and I'd just want to go home.

So if people were pissed off because they had to walk a couple of extra feet to say something to your parents then they probably aren't the type of people that you want to hang around with. Especially if they can't be sympathetic given the circumstances.

[starsandsea.livejournal.com]

Besides, I would think that would be what the wake and the days leading up to it was for.

Well, we live about 100 miles away from everyone who was there, so we didn't get to see them at all before the funeral. And not everyone went to the wake, I think. But... *shrugs* like you say, I don't think my mum was up to talking to people right after the service.

So if people were pissed off because they had to walk a couple of extra feet to say something to your parents then they probably aren't the type of people that you want to hang around with. Especially if they can't be sympathetic given the circumstances.

The most important people came over to see us, so that's all that matters, I guess. It's just that my uncle and aunt had been spreading some not very nice rumors about my mum concerning my grandmother so it could have made things worse. But, like I said, the most important people came over to see us, and then talked with us at the wake, so it seems like it was all okay in the end. :)

[sasha-anu.livejournal.com]

It's just that my uncle and aunt had been spreading some not very nice rumors about my mum concerning my grandmother so it could have made things worse.

Unfortunately, tragedy either brings out the best or worst in people. My uncle's funeral was ample proof of the latter.

But I'm happy that you made it through relatively unscathed.

*huggs*

[vigilante-wake.livejournal.com]

I keep trying to comment on this and then flashing back to my own grandmother's funeral. I remember being confused at the whole procedure too because it was a Catholic funeral. It's almost like there should be funeral rehearsals, like there are for weddings, except that nobody wants to go through it more than once.

I'm sorry you had to see the accident on your way there.

He hugged me as we left for the first, and most likely last time ever, which was weird, but I guessed he realized that we'd never be see each other again.

That seems very bittersweet. It doesn't sound like you'll miss your uncle very much from how you've described him here, but at least the hug was a nice gesture.

Anyway, let me know if you need to talk or anything. It's good to have you back. *hugs*

[starsandsea.livejournal.com]

I keep trying to comment on this and then flashing back to my own grandmother's funeral. I remember being confused at the whole procedure too because it was a Catholic funeral. It's almost like there should be funeral rehearsals, like there are for weddings, except that nobody wants to go through it more than once.

*huuugs* There should be rehearsals! It should be a mandatory thing that they teach in school or something. But yeah, no one would want to go through that anymore times than they'd have to.

That seems very bittersweet. It doesn't sound like you'll miss your uncle very much from how you've described him here, but at least the hug was a nice gesture.

I won't miss him at all, if I'm brutally honest. He wasn't in my life at all, so I have no reason to. *shrugs* But yeah, it was a nice gesture at least. :)

Anyway, let me know if you need to talk or anything. It's good to have you back. *hugs*

Thank you! *glomps* I might... might!... be sending you those fics from my deaf universe soon, if it's still okay with you?

[vigilante-wake.livejournal.com]

I might... might!... be sending you those fics from my deaf universe soon, if it's still okay with you?

That would be wonderful! I'm eager to see them.

[starsandsea.livejournal.com]

Whee!! I'm not sure when I'll get them to you, but I will! Soon! :)