Fic: Alien Courtship
Dec. 12th, 2010 07:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
starsandseaTitle: Alien Courtship
Rating: PGish
Pairing: Bruce/Clark
Word Count: 1379
Warnings: Crack!
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Author's Note: For the WFGE! For prompt F1 - 'Wierd alien courting habits.Like displays of intelligence, intricate courtship rituals (maybe something with an flying display [think bald eagles]?), crooning/purring whenever Bruce gets near.Clark can be doing this knowingly, having researched how to properly acquire a mate the Kryptonian way at the fortress, or just have a biological need to do all this random shit for an amused/wary/author's-choice Bruce. One million extra points if one of the stange habits is nesting: I've just got this great mental image of Clark all snuggled up to Bruce in a strange mass of downy pillows and blankets (Clark can provide for his mate, yes he can!)' Unbetaed, so point and I shall correct. :)
This was... odd, Bruce thought, as Clark started making a purring sound in his ear. He was used to Clark's somewhat strange habits, but this... He really was purring, sounding more cat like than Selina ever had. Yet there were also different noises, like clicks and chirps... The sound got louder as Clark pressed himself closer, arms tightening about him.
All right, this was very odd. The sound was almost like a buzzing noise, now, and he briefly entertained the idea that Clark had been turned into some kind of radio receiver. Bruce carefully rolled over in the bed, his movements waking Clark, and the noise stopped. Bruce eyed him warily.
Clark blinked sleepily at him, then frowned. "What's wrong?" His voice was thick with sleep.
"You were making a... noise. A purring, clicking, buzzing noise."
Clark blinked, then froze, and a somewhat panicked expression came over his face, that he tried to hide by laughing. "Oh, was I? Um, sorry... I... won't let it happen again. But I really need to go now, so have a good day. Bye!"
And then he was gone, the blankets falling to the bed where had been lying, only a slight rustling of papers and the curtains evidence of his use of super speed. Bruce blinked, took a deep breath, then let it out as a sigh, before rolling over again. Clark really was very odd, sometimes.
*****
That afternoon he was in a meeting room at Wayne Tower, trying not to fall asleep. Not all of it was acting. Gotham had been busy recently, and Harvey had broken out of Arkham... It was always difficult when it was Harvey.
A shadow flickered across the table, much too fast to be a cloud, and there was a cry of excitement from one of the women. "Superman!"
Heads turned and Bruce blinked, turning himself. "What's he doing... in... Gotham...?" The end of the question trailed off, as they stared as Superman started... flying. Twisting, turning, shooting up, then plunging down, running up close along the edge of the building, then out, in a large circle. Tumbling, head over shoulders, his hands making a complex gesture...
Bruce realized his mouth was hanging open, but so was everyone elses. "Uh... maybe... Maybe he's fighting one of those invisible guys?" Some one ventured.
"No, I bet he's mind controlled again."
The... display... continued, Superman showing off all of his flying skills. Bruce was going over all of their recent missions - had he been exposed to Kryptonite, recently? Some other mind altering substance? Maybe he should contact J'onn and ask him to do a mind scan and check?
Superman came up from a dive, back arched, facing them, arms spread, so that his chest was on full display. There were gasps and sighs from those watching. Then Superman blinked, and looked confused, before staring at them. Bruce raised an eyebrow at him, and he looked horrified, face flushing the same color as his cape, then shot off into the sky.
"Wonder what that was all about?"
"Those guys at the Daily Planet will know. They know everything about Superman."
There were nods, murmurs of agreement, and soft sighs of appreciation. Bruce remained staring out the window, frowning.
******
Clark, not unsurprisingly, was ignoring him. Bruce felt his eyes narrowing. Well, if he was going to be so childish, there was only one thing that he could do. Try and hack into the Fortress. It would take a long time, but given the way Clark was acting...
Bruce took a deep breath, then got to work. Above him the bats whirled as they flew out for their evening flight. He ignored them, working on dense, Kryptonian code. Alfred came down with dinner, which he absently ate. No emergencies so far. Nightwing, Robin and Batgirl were on patrol, and Oracle was keeping watch over everything.
Bruce yawned. Still no contact from Clark, but shaky camera footage showed him on patrol in Metropolis - and a few other places around the globe - acting normal, Bruce was pleased to note.
Another hour crawled by, and then... Bruce sat back in relief as the Fortress finally opened to him. Now the real work could begin. He started searching through medical texts, trying to find some mention of a clicking purring noise. Something caught his eye: 'It is theorized that under the influence of a yellow sun, an elaborate flying display will occur, as the Kryptonian in the Courting Cycle tries to attract a mate.'
Bruce stared. Then stared again at what he found on the clicking, purring sound. The hazards of dating an alien... No wonder Clark was embarrassed. And yet, he could not help but smirk a little, as he read further...
*****
There was a JLA meeting, the next morning. Why it was in the morning, Batman did not know, but judging from people's reactions it would not be happening again. Half of them seemed asleep, and everything had to be repeated twice.
At last, the meeting was over. Flash zoomed out, as usual, but notably slower as he mumbled something about coffee. Everyone else slowly followed him out. J'onn and Diana were talking softly, as Batman stood. Superman stood with him, and Batman paused, looking at him. Surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, given his behavior in recent days, Superman blushed and looked away. Batman looked at him a moment longer, before starting to leave.
"GliztztzcrackleGlztztz."
He stopped again, and stared at Superman, seeing Diana and J'onn do the same.
"Kal? Are you all right?" Diana's eyes were concerned. J'onn just looked amused.
Superman blushed again. "Oh, yeah, I'm just," he yawned. "Really tired."
Diana nodded, looking as if she didn't quite believe him. Batman just snorted, and left the room, hearing another crackle behind him as he did.
*****
That evening, Bruce Wayne walked into the Daily Planet. Most of his employees had already left. Clark was hunched over his desk, typing at his computer, often pausing to look at his notes, one finger pushing up his glasses as he did so.
Bruce found the sight oddly endearing, so... Clark. The complete opposite to the way he had been acting, recently. He cleared his throat, wondering if Clark really had been oblivious to his approach, or if he was just being polite. Or, if he didn't want to see him. Bruce frowned at that last thought.
"Brugrztzxracklegrztzcue!"
Bruce stared, and Clark blushed again, looking away from him. "Clark. Are you all right?"
"I'm fine, just, um... busy."
Bruce sighed softly. "I see."
"Um. What are you doing here?" Clark had turned to look at him now, and Bruce raised an eyebrow at him. "Not that you're not welcome, of course, it's just that I'm... surprised to see you."
Bruce leaned against Clark's desk, seeing him swallow. "You've been ignoring me."
"I haven't-!"
"Yes, you have."
Clark swallowed again, and looked away, glancing around. The other workers had just left. They were alone. Clark looked back at him now, biting his lip, then closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before opening them again.
But Bruce stopped him before he could speak. "Clark - don't you know that Metropolis is where you are most likely to be abducted by an alien?"
Clark stared at him. Then lunged.
*****
Bruce wasn't sure how much time had passed. He was sleepy, and it didn't matter - it was the weekend, now. He yawned, and Kal made a mewling noise. Not an alien noise, just a happy, content, tired one. It seemed Kal's courting cycle was over now, no doubt because of their 'mating'. Bruce snorted softly.
Kal stirred. "I'm sorry for all the weird stuff, but I just couldn't control it..."
Bruce snorted again. "Did you think I didn't know what was going on?"
Kal was still behind him, before laughing ruefully. "You're mean."
Bruce smirked. "You do make a good nest, though."
Kal groaned softly, and he tried not to snicker. The bed in the Fortress was a mass of pillows and silly silver blankets. It was actually quite comfortable, once you got the fluffiness out of the way.
"You're never going to let me forget this, are you?"
Bruce didn't reply, but then, his smirk said it all.
Rating: PGish
Pairing: Bruce/Clark
Word Count: 1379
Warnings: Crack!
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Author's Note: For the WFGE! For prompt F1 - 'Wierd alien courting habits.Like displays of intelligence, intricate courtship rituals (maybe something with an flying display [think bald eagles]?), crooning/purring whenever Bruce gets near.Clark can be doing this knowingly, having researched how to properly acquire a mate the Kryptonian way at the fortress, or just have a biological need to do all this random shit for an amused/wary/author's-choice Bruce. One million extra points if one of the stange habits is nesting: I've just got this great mental image of Clark all snuggled up to Bruce in a strange mass of downy pillows and blankets (Clark can provide for his mate, yes he can!)' Unbetaed, so point and I shall correct. :)
This was... odd, Bruce thought, as Clark started making a purring sound in his ear. He was used to Clark's somewhat strange habits, but this... He really was purring, sounding more cat like than Selina ever had. Yet there were also different noises, like clicks and chirps... The sound got louder as Clark pressed himself closer, arms tightening about him.
All right, this was very odd. The sound was almost like a buzzing noise, now, and he briefly entertained the idea that Clark had been turned into some kind of radio receiver. Bruce carefully rolled over in the bed, his movements waking Clark, and the noise stopped. Bruce eyed him warily.
Clark blinked sleepily at him, then frowned. "What's wrong?" His voice was thick with sleep.
"You were making a... noise. A purring, clicking, buzzing noise."
Clark blinked, then froze, and a somewhat panicked expression came over his face, that he tried to hide by laughing. "Oh, was I? Um, sorry... I... won't let it happen again. But I really need to go now, so have a good day. Bye!"
And then he was gone, the blankets falling to the bed where had been lying, only a slight rustling of papers and the curtains evidence of his use of super speed. Bruce blinked, took a deep breath, then let it out as a sigh, before rolling over again. Clark really was very odd, sometimes.
*****
That afternoon he was in a meeting room at Wayne Tower, trying not to fall asleep. Not all of it was acting. Gotham had been busy recently, and Harvey had broken out of Arkham... It was always difficult when it was Harvey.
A shadow flickered across the table, much too fast to be a cloud, and there was a cry of excitement from one of the women. "Superman!"
Heads turned and Bruce blinked, turning himself. "What's he doing... in... Gotham...?" The end of the question trailed off, as they stared as Superman started... flying. Twisting, turning, shooting up, then plunging down, running up close along the edge of the building, then out, in a large circle. Tumbling, head over shoulders, his hands making a complex gesture...
Bruce realized his mouth was hanging open, but so was everyone elses. "Uh... maybe... Maybe he's fighting one of those invisible guys?" Some one ventured.
"No, I bet he's mind controlled again."
The... display... continued, Superman showing off all of his flying skills. Bruce was going over all of their recent missions - had he been exposed to Kryptonite, recently? Some other mind altering substance? Maybe he should contact J'onn and ask him to do a mind scan and check?
Superman came up from a dive, back arched, facing them, arms spread, so that his chest was on full display. There were gasps and sighs from those watching. Then Superman blinked, and looked confused, before staring at them. Bruce raised an eyebrow at him, and he looked horrified, face flushing the same color as his cape, then shot off into the sky.
"Wonder what that was all about?"
"Those guys at the Daily Planet will know. They know everything about Superman."
There were nods, murmurs of agreement, and soft sighs of appreciation. Bruce remained staring out the window, frowning.
******
Clark, not unsurprisingly, was ignoring him. Bruce felt his eyes narrowing. Well, if he was going to be so childish, there was only one thing that he could do. Try and hack into the Fortress. It would take a long time, but given the way Clark was acting...
Bruce took a deep breath, then got to work. Above him the bats whirled as they flew out for their evening flight. He ignored them, working on dense, Kryptonian code. Alfred came down with dinner, which he absently ate. No emergencies so far. Nightwing, Robin and Batgirl were on patrol, and Oracle was keeping watch over everything.
Bruce yawned. Still no contact from Clark, but shaky camera footage showed him on patrol in Metropolis - and a few other places around the globe - acting normal, Bruce was pleased to note.
Another hour crawled by, and then... Bruce sat back in relief as the Fortress finally opened to him. Now the real work could begin. He started searching through medical texts, trying to find some mention of a clicking purring noise. Something caught his eye: 'It is theorized that under the influence of a yellow sun, an elaborate flying display will occur, as the Kryptonian in the Courting Cycle tries to attract a mate.'
Bruce stared. Then stared again at what he found on the clicking, purring sound. The hazards of dating an alien... No wonder Clark was embarrassed. And yet, he could not help but smirk a little, as he read further...
*****
There was a JLA meeting, the next morning. Why it was in the morning, Batman did not know, but judging from people's reactions it would not be happening again. Half of them seemed asleep, and everything had to be repeated twice.
At last, the meeting was over. Flash zoomed out, as usual, but notably slower as he mumbled something about coffee. Everyone else slowly followed him out. J'onn and Diana were talking softly, as Batman stood. Superman stood with him, and Batman paused, looking at him. Surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, given his behavior in recent days, Superman blushed and looked away. Batman looked at him a moment longer, before starting to leave.
"GliztztzcrackleGlztztz."
He stopped again, and stared at Superman, seeing Diana and J'onn do the same.
"Kal? Are you all right?" Diana's eyes were concerned. J'onn just looked amused.
Superman blushed again. "Oh, yeah, I'm just," he yawned. "Really tired."
Diana nodded, looking as if she didn't quite believe him. Batman just snorted, and left the room, hearing another crackle behind him as he did.
*****
That evening, Bruce Wayne walked into the Daily Planet. Most of his employees had already left. Clark was hunched over his desk, typing at his computer, often pausing to look at his notes, one finger pushing up his glasses as he did so.
Bruce found the sight oddly endearing, so... Clark. The complete opposite to the way he had been acting, recently. He cleared his throat, wondering if Clark really had been oblivious to his approach, or if he was just being polite. Or, if he didn't want to see him. Bruce frowned at that last thought.
"Brugrztzxracklegrztzcue!"
Bruce stared, and Clark blushed again, looking away from him. "Clark. Are you all right?"
"I'm fine, just, um... busy."
Bruce sighed softly. "I see."
"Um. What are you doing here?" Clark had turned to look at him now, and Bruce raised an eyebrow at him. "Not that you're not welcome, of course, it's just that I'm... surprised to see you."
Bruce leaned against Clark's desk, seeing him swallow. "You've been ignoring me."
"I haven't-!"
"Yes, you have."
Clark swallowed again, and looked away, glancing around. The other workers had just left. They were alone. Clark looked back at him now, biting his lip, then closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before opening them again.
But Bruce stopped him before he could speak. "Clark - don't you know that Metropolis is where you are most likely to be abducted by an alien?"
Clark stared at him. Then lunged.
*****
Bruce wasn't sure how much time had passed. He was sleepy, and it didn't matter - it was the weekend, now. He yawned, and Kal made a mewling noise. Not an alien noise, just a happy, content, tired one. It seemed Kal's courting cycle was over now, no doubt because of their 'mating'. Bruce snorted softly.
Kal stirred. "I'm sorry for all the weird stuff, but I just couldn't control it..."
Bruce snorted again. "Did you think I didn't know what was going on?"
Kal was still behind him, before laughing ruefully. "You're mean."
Bruce smirked. "You do make a good nest, though."
Kal groaned softly, and he tried not to snicker. The bed in the Fortress was a mass of pillows and silly silver blankets. It was actually quite comfortable, once you got the fluffiness out of the way.
"You're never going to let me forget this, are you?"
Bruce didn't reply, but then, his smirk said it all.
